51 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. The wind has been howling all night. I often think and say that everything cannot happen all at once, but I think it’s more accurately thought of as I cannot equally be aware of everything all at once. I need to feel when I write and I also need to write to become more aware of what I feel. I have been struggling to write these posts because they involve a bit of sharing and I’ve got some things in my awareness that I’m just not feeling up to sharing about just yet. When I’m holding on and needing to close myself off in an area, it affects my whole ability to feel and express. The holding and feeling simultaneously is exhausting for my body from the inside out. The yes and the no intentions are holding me hostage—I’m trapped and unable to move in any direction.

Just like always. I know what I must do. I just don’t know when it will happen. It seems like I ought to be able to influence or manage the timing, but I don’t. Something else within me moves me. It’s nothing more strategic or magical than coming into alignment so that energy is moving through my whole system to support me.

Completely,

Laura