110 of #120daysadhana: content

I feel like I’m in a movie when I feel my feelings about whatever is happening, not happening or potentially happening or going to happen in my life. I love the feeling of feeling overwhelmed with emotion and for the moments and people and experiences to have meaning and purpose in ways that are inexplicable and gently encapsulated as some shimmery orb that makes me know something about how my past, present and future are connected. I can see it all and I know it all because I can feel it all the way through in all directions.

In some ways, this is the only way to live, it is the way I live some 360 degrees inside out through every realm I can imagine. Life is more enjoyable as a film or even a never ending always editable script where I am the writer, the director, the producer, the casting director, multiple characters and cameras, set designer, editor, music supervisor, audience, critic and archiver. Everything is streaming here. It’s beautiful and tragic and profound. All the angles and dimensions and colors and sound. The culmination of feeling and being, also experienced as the point where the human and spiritual intersect, connect and become one.

Pause. Rewind. Fast forward. Start a new stream. No genre to select. No such thing, or there is one. Feeling.

I haven’t mastered how to project or stream anything outside of myself. I never thought to include this necessary role and function.

I am afraid to reveal the black holes and the beauty that lie within the universe floating and expanding within me. Everything and nothing. This dark and starry, cosmic place of me inside out, and my whole system in constellation across the sky for any eyes to see and navigate. I’d live for, I’d love and I’d die...and I’d stream it all over again.

I’m not sure where this stuff comes from, but I like the analogy, thoughts and realization of today’s writing. For all of the amazing insights and learnings I am able to take in and integrate, there is so much that must go unacknowledged and that I have yet to learn when the time is right.

It’s 11/11/2018 and 2018 is an 11 year, so from a numerology standpoint it is a powerful day. My friend sent a text saying it is a good day to plan your next move. I like the sound of that a lot.

Today is also Veterans Day and Leonardo DiCaprio’s birthday. Gratitude for all of the above, especially all of the people who are devoted enough to take action to support their beliefs and their effort to support the collective.

Thank you for following @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #120daysadhana unfold.

Brightly,
Laura Peppin